Cindy Stockton
May 8, 1959 – June 8, 2010
(Nov. 2010)
(Nov. 2010)
Background
Mom was amazing…completely
amazing! She and my dad raised our
family of four girls in a Christian home and they set Godly examples in
everything they did. She home-schooled us
and had a private Christian pre-school.
She got up at the crack of dawn to exercise. She loved cooking, crafts, scrapbooking,
sewing, and most of all, quilting. She
and my dad had a relationship that was perfect.
They truly were God’s gift to each other and treated each other like
it. Mom loved to care for elderly
people. Her house was the cleanest most
organized house you can imagine. She was
truly superwoman. Most importantly, she
was a simple woman with amazing faith.
Around August 2009, Mom starting having
difficulty formulating the correct word for some things. She might be
trying to say "car", but the word "car" wouldn't come
out. She could tell us "you drive it", "it has four
wheels", etc, but the right word just wouldn't come out. At first it
wasn't a big deal, in fact, we even laughed about it, but then it seemed to be
happening more often. Then she would be reading and wouldn't always be
able to finish what she was reading or comprehend something she just read.
Then, one day in September (2009),
at her private Christian pre-school, Gingerbread, she was reading a book to her
students, and then in the middle of it, just couldn't read it anymore.
She couldn't make out the words. My sister happened to be there, so she
had my sister finish reading it. She went home that night and took the
book with her. She sat down with my dad and showed him how she
couldn't read it anymore and she just knew something wasn't right.
She would refer to a Rascal Flatts
song that had the lyrics "I woke up this morning and something just wasn't
right", and she would say that's how she felt. So the next day she
called her doctor, a family friend of ours, and made an appointment. She
went that morning to the appointment thinking maybe she had a stroke. The
doctor let her know that was not the case. So she thought maybe it was Alzheimer’s,
which the doctor immediately ruled out. Not sure exactly what was going
on, they scheduled an emergency MRI that afternoon in a town 30 minutes
away. My mom was fine at this point and felt great, so she drove herself
to the appointment and even got a pedicure first, because she said in the back
of her mind she thought that she might have to go to the hospital, and if she
did, she wanted pretty toes! :)
They did the MRI and sent her home
with some scans. She went over that evening to the doctor’s house to take
the scans, but the doctor (our family friend) had already received a call from
the radiologist and was on her way over to our house to talk with my mom and
dad. At the time, the doctor told my mom that she had a brain tumor and
they were scheduling an emergency surgery for tumor removal. At that
point, my parents simply thought it was no big deal...my mom would have the
surgery, take the tumor out, and everything would be fine.
It wasn't until the surgery took
place and the surgeon met with all us of afterwards that we found out the
extent of the cancer. It was a stage four brain cancer, called Glioblastoma.
She was given 9-12 months to live with treatment, and 6-9 months without
treatment. She chose to not do treatment, which was a wonderful decision,
because she actually felt REALLY good throughout most of her journey. She
would have been much sicker and not enjoyed her time most likely if she had
chose treatment.
(Mom at the hospital just a few
minutes before she went into surgery, September 2009)
Below are the email updates we sent
out to a quickly expanding reader list. Please feel free to share with
anyone as it is a wonderful testimony of faith and perseverance.
Update 1 - January
22, 2010
Hello Friends!
So many of you have called, sent
cards, asked about mom, asked for updates, etc (which mom greatly appreciates),
so we wanted to send out a quick update. Obviously, some of you talk to
mom every day and for others, it might have been September, so we're going to
give an update dating back to mid December, which was when we had a
follow-up MRI to the emergency surgery in September, which took place
when the tumor was discovered.
On Dec. 16, we had a follow-up MRI,
which showed that her cancer is still there and the tumor is still
growing. Dec. 16 was approximately 10 weeks after her surgery
in Norman, and the tumor had grown back to about half of the size it was for
the surgery. Not a good sign. However, the doctors had expected it
to grow a little faster, so the fact that it was slightly slower than they thought
was good.
Amazingly enough, God continues to
give her strength...nothing seems to get her down at all. We had a
consultation with her doctor who performed the original surgery just to see if
a second surgery was an option. She was particularly interested in the
surgery as a symptom treatment than more of a cancer treatment. She
regained so much after her original surgery in terms of reading, words,
communication, etc., and those symptoms had begun to develop again. So,
she was really hoping that a second surgery might, once again, restore some of
that.
Unfortunately, this is not an option
for multiple reasons. Primarily, the tumor "fingers" are
spreading very quickly and all of the damaged cells and tissue will not even
show up on a scan. If the doctor was to go in and remove anything he
did originally and even go another inch all the way around it, there would be
no possible way to get everything without it being fatal. As he describes
it, it is like taking a large wad of gum and tangling it your hair (except for its
cancer tangled in the brain). Also, because of the growth and spreading,
her recovery would not be nearly as good as it was before (in a medical
opinion). Lastly, even if they went in and resected all infected areas
that would show up on a scan, they would most likely not even be able to get
80% of the cancer. This type and stage of cancer are just so aggressive
that it grows so much faster than you can treat or remove.
Basically we take it hour by
hour. Sometimes she has great days and sometimes she has a few more
symptoms. Mainly headaches...she has a headache that is constant, so that
has become the new "normal", but then sometimes she will have headaches
near her ears, or behind one or both eyes, or in the middle of her eyes, that
she says she can only describe as feeling like a migraine.
Her number comprehension
is usually fairly good, but she is unable to read for the most part.
When she can read something, it takes so much of her focus to read it, that she
can't comprehend it. She can't cook any longer following a recipe because
of the reading/comprehension, but she's still trying to do what she can in the
kitchen...her favorite spot!
As far as up and doing things...she
is as energetic as ever. She's sleeping in a little more in the mornings,
but nothing overly serious. She is quilting like crazy and doing all
kinds of projects/crafts with Jordyn and Avery (Holly's girls). She is
beyond organized...if you can imagine that. She has the next three years
worth of birthday, wedding, anniversary, and Christmas gifts, purchased,
wrapped, and tagged...including grandkids that have yet to even be conceived
and weddings that aren't even in the works yet (I think that is her hint for
Hannah and I).
(Noni with Avery & Jordyn)
She says she strongly feels like she
will make it through April to see Hilary's new baby (Aiden-the first boy on my
dad's side in 55 years)! She has a peace about everything and talks a lot
about heaven and her excitement for going there. God is preparing her for
sure...because some of the things she says and the way she feels are certainly
not human nature. I would be terrified, but she is completely at
peace. She still feels extremely comfortable and confident in her
decision not to do treatment. She hasn't been sick any and has felt so
good for the most part. The only medication she is on right now is her steroid
for swelling and ibuprofen for headaches.
The main things that we see day to
day as far as progression of symptoms are just word confusion and comprehension
problems, and of course, the headaches. Sometimes she'll have a period of
about an hour or so where she can't get any words to come out right and then
it's like it just gets better and she can talk and everything makes
sense. We have yet to see the weakness on the right side of her body like
the doctors expect. And she certainly hasn't got extremely tired yet, as
they mentioned would be a symptom as things progressed.
Mom's prayer, and our prayer,
continues to be for God's will to unfold in this situation, whether that
be healing or not. That certainly doesn't mean it makes it easy to accept
this, but Mom sets the tone, and her attitude is so encouraging and
uplifting. Mom still feels strongly that God, for an unknown reason, is
going to get more glory from her sickness, than from a miracle healing.
There have been a couple of salvations from her story and her testimony that we
know of, so she has been so encouraged by this. Obviously, we don't know
His plan, but are trusting in it nonetheless. We are enjoying every
single day that we have together and are making the most of every moment.
As usual...nothing is off limits to
talk about in our household, so please feel free to let us know if you have
questions, would like more details, or if something we've passed along is
confusing.
She loves having visitors and phone
calls! Please keep her in your prayers. We would love to hear from
any of you and hope that the New Year is bringing you much joy!
Heather Smalling, on behalf of
The Stockton Family
Update 2 - February
22, 2010
Hello again Friends and Family,
Our apologies in not getting an
update out to you sooner than this. Where does the time go?
Originally, I was hoping to send out an update a week after the last one, but
here we are a few weeks later! So sorry!
Let me first say that you are
receiving this email either by request, referral, forward, or the simple fact
that you were in one of our families address books. Please let me know if
for any reason you would like to be removed from this email group. No
offense taken whatsoever. Also, if you know of anyone who would like to
be added, please let me know by responding to this email. We are happy to
add anyone to this list.
I have to admit that sitting down to
actually write these updates is harder than I originally thought. I
honestly don't know if it's just hard to see what's going on in writing, or
just trying to figure out where to start. I just don't want to write the
wrong things, so I am praying that God gives me the words, because I don't want
to make things come across any better or worse than they actually are...my
intent (per Mom's request and our family's thoughts) is to be as accurate and
detailed as possible, without "scaring" anyone or making “too light”
of the situation.
That being said, I will try to fill
in where we last left off. Unfortunately, things are not as good as they
last were. For a couple of weeks, mom had good days for the most
part. She was continuing to have her "normal" headache daily,
and she did lose what bit of reading she was able to do. There was more
confusion of speaking and comprehending words. But, she felt good, which
has been our priority from day one.
The weekend before
last (2/19/10), she woke up with a much stronger headache than she had
previously experienced. She didn't have an appetite and just wanted to lie
down. As the day progressed, so did her headache, the pain, and
nauseness. Then, during early afternoon on that Friday, she began to get
sick. Once she got sick, we couldn't keep any liquids or foods down her
in order give her pain medicine. We were at a loss as to how to control
the sickness in order to control the pain. She was in bed, trying to get
some rest, but the headache pain and the sickness continued through the night.
She also lost pretty much all comprehension. No word that we said made
sense to her and not many words that she spoke made sense to us. In
fact, there were times that she didn't know who we even were. It was so
very difficult to watch her in the much pain and feel so helpless as to how to
make it better. She was having such intense pain that she was just
telling us she didn't want to go on if this was how it would be.
Her doctor was hoping that by
morning she would be feeling better, and unfortunately she did not, so we made
our first visit to the hospital (other than for the original surgery).
Word spread fast, and we are thankful for the phone calls and the
visitors that stopped by to check on her...she/we have so many wonderful
friends!
Once they started an IV and were
able to get her some liquids, nutrients, and medicine that way, she started
feeling much better. Originally, there were a few thoughts from the
doctors as to what was going on. They didn't know if she was sick
from the pain, or if she had a virus. There was even concern that she may
have had a stroke or seizure which was coupled with everything.
Fortunately, once she was able to get medicine and get hydrated, she felt MUCH
better and was able to get back home shortly.
Her doctors could not determine for
sure what caused this episode, but felt like there would be more, we just
wouldn't know when or how often. In dealing with this, it's hard to
educate ourselves, because there isn't much information to go off of, in
regards to symptoms, etc. Since we are dealing with
something as unique as the brain, everyone is going to be a little different in
terms of symptoms and progression. Because of the very slightest change
in the location of the tumor/cancer and pressure from one patient to the
next, the symptoms and the pain can change drastically and there isn't really much
way to predict this. There are just so many nerves and vessels that it is
basically impossible to have a "textbook example" of how this will
play out.
After the episode and the hospital
visit, mom did feel much better, but didn't fully regain everything. She
was back to her energetic self, but we noticed a little bit more confusion in
her talking and comprehension. Generally she knows the concept of what
she's trying to say when telling a story, but sometimes just mixes it up.
For example, she confuses he/she, her/him, and the likes. And she has
trouble saying the right words for objects.
Our family (obviously not doctors)
best described it as the effects a mini-stroke would have on someone. For
instance, mom has an episode and gets better, but it's not quite back to the
level she was before.
So the week following the first
episode, she had a couple good days and a couple of bad days. She felt
good for the most part but was having a little bit heavier headaches that
seemed to last longer than the headaches she had been having the last few
months. Then, this past Friday morning, she got sick again, but then felt
good so she ate something. She had a good day for the rest of that day,
but just felt really tired. Then she woke up on Saturday morning and it
was basically a replay of the weekend before. Fortunately, we were able
to keep her at home this time. Her doctor is working with us to try to
get the best combination of medicines to combat the nauseness and the
pain. After having a couple of these episodes, it has definitely been
determined that the pain is what is causing her to be sick. It's just
such a significant pain that it makes her physically sick. So, she
is now on a couple of different nausea and pain medicines, along with her steroid
for swelling.
Today, she is feeling much
better. In fact, she's not feeling sick at all...just tired. She
doesn't have much of an appetite at the moment but is eating a little to take
the medicine.
As much as possible, she is trying
to keep up with daily activities and enjoying special activities with friends
and family. As long as she feels like it, we want her to get to do
everything she wants to. She is trying to teach herself not to over-do it
(but that's not really possible for her...she is like the energizer
bunny!). She went shopping a couple times, enjoyed time with her friends
at a quilting retreat, is quilting in her own little quilting room, rearranging
the furniture in the house, and much more!
During the times that she is not
having what we are now calling "an episode", her conversations with
us have been really good. She keeps telling us that she knows God is
preparing a quilting room for her in heaven so she can quilt all she
wants. She continues to tell us how incredibly blessed she is to have
been given the time she has. A few years ago, her mom passed away shortly
after having a car wreck, due to internal injuries. Mom tells us
constantly that she can't imagine something like that happening to her and is
just so thankful that she has had time to prepare and we as a family have had
time to talk about things. She loves the fact that she has got to
accomplish so many different things since she found out about the illness.
On another note, so many of you have
asked how Dad is doing. I'm going to share a little bit of what he's been
doing, but just know that Mom wanted this shared. For as long as anyone
can remember, mom always said that when she goes to be with Jesus, she wanted
her earthly body to be buried in the country in a wooden box with quilts around
her. Well probably about eight years ago, she told dad that she felt like
God was telling her to have him build her casket
or "box", as she calls it. He laughed a little and said, I
don't think we need to talk about that or anything and kind of shrugged it
off. It's always been a bit of joke between the two of them that mom
wanted him to build her "box" and she would just use it as storage
until she needed it and he would laugh back and tell her they weren't going to
need that. Well, it shouldn't be a surprise to us, but the second
sentence out of mom's mouth after the doctor discussed her diagnosis with her
in the hospital was..."Well, Ricky, I guess you're going to have to build
my box now".
At the time, it was one of the
hardest things possible for dad to hear or even consider. But, he
wouldn't have even imagined doing anything else since he knew that
was her wish...so, he started it a few months ago and has slowly worked on it
over time. Sometimes it was hard and sometimes he separated himself from
it and just told himself it was a wood-working project. Although it has
been one of the most difficult things for him, somehow it has also been a sort
of healing for him and for all of us. Mom says that she knows it sounds
morbid to share all of this, but it has opened up the door for her to talk to
people and tell them that she knows it will only be an earthly body in
there. So even though it's hard, it has provided healing and an
opportunity to share our testimony. It has also been a way for us to talk
with Mom's grandbaby's, Jordyn and Avery, to help them further understand
what's going on and try to prepare them.
So, while Dad is certainly hurting,
he is coping and doing well. He knows who is in control of the situation
and is trusting in God's will through this all. His main concern, as is
all of ours, is pain management. We want mom as comfortable as possible
when she's hurting and we want her to fully enjoy herself when she's feeling good!
Please know that as we talk about
what this cancer will result in based on medical facts, which is death, we know
we serve an awesome God. We know that we serve a God more than capable of
healing and miracles. We have seen miracles. We also know that
death is part of this earthly life and that God's plan is not always what we,
as humans, would want. So, again, while we fully believe that God can
heal Mom, we further believe in his will and his plan. Not that any of
this is easy in any way, but we know he is preparing us and if He does take her
to heaven He will help us heal until the time see each other again. It
would probably be easier to be angry, depressed, and frustrated, but we have to
daily make a conscious decision that it wouldn't do us any good. We want
to enjoy every day that we have and laugh and make more great memories to
forever cherish. Mom continues to set the tone for this family...and that
tone is one of peace, joy, love and laughter. Certainly we have times of
sadness and crying, but that does not take away our joy and especially our
laughter and happy moments.
We last updated saying that we are
taking this hour by hour, but a great friend of ours said that "all you
can do is take it minute by minute". This would probably be much more
accurate. While there is some sickness and hurting one minute, the next
minute there might not be any pain, and she just feels good. So, we'll
continue to press on and take things minute by minute.
We are so thankful for the
wonderful, uplifting, and encouraging friends that we have. All
of the concern, letters, visits, calls, cards, notes, thoughts, prayers,
and more that Mom and our family have received are so incredibly appreciated.
We are thankful for a great doctors as well, who are going above and beyond to
provide exceptional care and are doing everything they can to take care of her
and control the pain.
I took a break in writing just now
to check on Mom, as she was resting. She was awake and asked that I
please tell each of you that she loves you and you are a blessing to her life,
so I am passing that on!
As always...we welcome calls,
visits, and any questions you might have.
Heather Smalling,
on behalf of the Stockton Family
Update 3 - March 7,
2010
|
To All of our Wonderful Friends
and Family,
Yay!!! I am sooooo happy to
begin this update by saying that we have had two good weeks in a row
now! Mom has been feeling really well for the past 12-13 days, and for
that, we are so thankful!
After her last couple of
"episodes" of sickness and heavy pain, it seems that we (by we, I
also mean our wonderful doctors and pharmacists) may have, at least for the
time, been able to come up with the right combination of medicines to keep
the pain under control, which is then in turn, keeping her from hurting so
bad, that it makes her physically sick.
Mom still wakes up each morning
somewhere between 3:00 am and 6:00 am with a bit of a headache. She
then takes a heavier pain medicine than she previously was, and for the most
part, it is keeping the headaches from progressing. Sometimes
throughout the day, she'll take another pain pill, but generally, it's just
in the mornings. Through research that we have seen, it is fairly
common for patients with this type of tumor to have heavier headaches in the
morning, but there isn't much that really explains why. She is
also continuing to take her steroid for swelling, and if needed, we now have
a nausea medicine that she can just rub into her wrists, which is great when
she can't keep food down.
While she isn't in much pain, she
is getting a little more tired, and at some times, a little more hyper.
It's so hard to determine if some of that is due to the medicine, or simply
progression of the cancer. But, nonetheless, mom says she would much
rather be that way than be hurting, and we wholeheartedly agree! She
usually takes a morning and an afternoon rest. During the day, she
feels a little shaky and her vision has been getting a little worse (a little
blurry and hard to focus). Then, usually in the evenings, she starts
feeling a little calmer and the shakiness subsides and her eyes seem to focus
a bit better. Because of all this, she is getting to quilt
less than she would like, but does still try to fit it in during every
good moment.
I think the hardest thing for mom
now is knowing what to do with her time-she's never been one for sitting
still. Since she can't read or cook anymore, and her quilting ability
is a bit more limited, she sometimes feels a little bit frustrated not knowing
exactly what to do, so she tries to do a bit of everything.
We have now started calling her a
"mouse". Jorydn and Avery have a book called "If you
Give a Mouse a Cookie". I can't help but tell you how the book
plays out..."If you give a mouse a cookie, chances are he'll want a
glass of milk to go with it. When you give him the milk, he'll probably
need a straw. When he's finished he wants to look in the mirror to make
sure he doesn't have a milk mustache. When he looks in the mirror he
will notice his hair needs a trim, and then he'll need some scissors.
When he's finished trimming, he'll want to sweep up. Then, he'll get
carried away and sweep every room in the house. Then he'll want to take
a nap and have you read him a story. As he looks at the pictures in the
story, he'll get so excited he'll want to draw a picture of his own.
He'll want to hang the picture on the fridge, and as he stands back to look
at it, it will remind him that he's thirsty, and he'll ask for a glass of
milk. And, chances are if he asks for a glass of milk, he's going want
a cookie to go with it." :)
While I did leave out some parts,
this is how we can best describe mom these days. For instance, she woke
up the other morning and was going to eat a bite so that we could give her
the medicine she needed. As she looked in the fridge for something to
eat, she started cleaning it out. Then while she was cleaning, she
started unloading the dishwasher, and then she pulled everything out from one
of her cabinets to rearrange it. She then tried to do laundry and
organize the pantry...all the while, we're following her around asking her if
she intends to eat something like she started out doing. This all
happened in about a ten minute period! :) She jumps all over the
place and tries to do about 100 things at once. But, hey, that's
nothing new...that's always been our mom. That's how she got everything
done while we were growing up! And, although it is sometimes hard to
keep up with her and get everything done that she needs/wants us to do, we
wouldn't have it any other way. We sure love our little
"mouse"!
Mom has been able to give her
testimony at a couple of churches recently, but it has become too hard for
her to get the right words out for what she is trying to say, so unfortunately,
she probably won't be able to share her hope and her joy with large groups
like that anymore. Last week, during the same service she gave her
testimony, we also got to see mom's niece be baptized. Mom's niece was
saved a couple of months ago after talking with mom. She came over one
day and told mom that she knew if something happened, she wouldn't be going
to the same place mom would be and she couldn't imagine not seeing her
again. She asked what she needed to do to go to heaven, and then
accepted Jesus Christ as her Savior, as a result. If any of you talk to
mom for long, you'll hear her say that if her sickness was for no other
reason than to win this soul for the kingdom of heaven, then it was all worth
it! Wow, how amazing!!!
For those of you who have asked
what you can do, I would continue to say come and visit. It seems to be
great for mom to have visitors...it keeps her spirits high and it also lets
her sit and rest while she talks, shares, and reminisces. As the spring
approaches, she is also hoping to get some flowers planted in her flower
garden. I know that she would love to have some of you with a green
thumb by her side as she tries to do this.
We are continuing to enjoy each
and every day and fill those days with as much laughter and memory
making as possible!
Lastly, I wanted let you know that
we are taking orders for shirts in honor of mom. I have attached the
logo for you to see. The shirts will read "I Wear Grey for Mrs.
Cindy. Support Brain Cancer Awareness".
The Grey ribbon represents brain
cancer awareness, like the more common pink ribbon represents breast cancer
awareness. We are selling the shirts for $10. Although all
details are not yet worked out, the profits (approximately $5 from each shirt
sale) from shirts sales will either be donated to a charity in mom's
name or used to purchase some type of children's toy equipment or bench, etc.
for the local 'Elephant Walk Park'. She wants something semi-local if
possible and something that deals with children. So, while we are in
early stages of working out the logistics, we are taking shirt orders.
The first order will be placed on this coming Tuesday and we will have the
shirts in about a week or less. Once we have have another order of at
least 30 shirts, we will place have the next run printed. We will be
able to ship shirts, but don't yet have the exact cost. If this is
something you are interested in, please email me back (h.smalling@yahoo.com) or
call us (home: 580-326-7181, cell: 801-725-0255). The shirts come in
white, black, and grey. They are a 100% cotton unisex shirt that is
pre-shrunk. On the black shirts, the logo will appear in grey as you
see in the attached logo. On white or grey shirts, the writing will be
inverted and the text will be black.
We also have hooded sweatshirts
available for $20. They also come in white, black, or grey. They
are a 50% cotton/ 50 % polyester fleece, unisex sweatshirt. Sizes for
both t-shirts and sweatshirts are Small, Medium, Large, XL, 2XL,
3XL, 4XL, and 5XL. You can choose to have the logo
printed in a full logo on the front or as a smaller upper left chest logo.
These also come in a youth shirt ($10),
which is 100% cotton jersey, pre-shrunk. Also available in white,
black, or grey. Sizes for this run XS, Small, Med, Lg, and XL.
Again, just contact us if you
would like to order or if you have any questions. Payments will not be
necessary until arrival of the shirts.
Blessings,
Heather Smalling
on behalf of the Stockton Family
Ricky, Cindy, Heather, Holly,
Hilary, Hannah, and families
|
Update 4 - March 29, 2010
Hello to our email update family!
It's update time again. I
have put off writing this...just isn't my most favorite thing to do--if
you can imagine. (It's not that I don't want you all updated, because I
do. It's just awkward trying to communicate everything
appropriately.) But, then I saw a written word of wisdom from my grand-paw:
'procrastination is the thief of time'. So, no more
procrastinating...time to share the good and the not-so-good news with you
all. I'll update and then cover a couple of logistics...email list, shirt
orders, etc.
First of all, let's start with a big
YIPPEE, WOO-HOO, HALLELUJAH, or
whatever word you would use for excited. Mom is still continuing to feel
great! It's amazing that someone can feel good with all that's going on,
but she does. She has not been in ANY pain whatsoever for a few weeks
now...basically since she got sick, which was about 6 weeks ago. What a
blessing! To be honest, she hasn't even been resting all that much.
She might lie down here and there for an hour or so every now and then, but not
really all that often. Pretty amazing, considering that all of her
doctors said she should be feeling really tired.
The last few weeks Mom has felt so
good, she has felt like getting out and doing things, going places, etc.
She got to go with Hannah and Holly to take Jordyn and Avery ice-skating in Frisco
(and no, she did NOT attempt to wow us with her skills on the ice for
those wondering). Hilary had her baby shower at church and mom was able
to complete an entire gift basket for her and attend the shower.
She's gone walking a couple of times with friends and family, had a great visit
with one of her dearest friends from Dallas for a weekend (lots of laughing and
staying up late!), went out to eat with some quilting friends, went to a
quilting group get-together at a quilt store, and much more. Basically, I
can barely keep up with her!
Her vision and word problems
remain as the only significant symptoms that we've currently been seeing,
other than original and ongoing things, such as not really being able to read
and cook--both things that she misses terribly. I think I told you
earlier, that she can't really quilt anymore because of the vision
problems. She sees okay, but things get blurry and she has a hard time
focusing, which makes it difficult. However, there are a couple of times
that her vision has been clear enough in the last couple of days that she has
attempted getting back into an old hobby of scrapbooking. She isn't able
to do the journaling and read the stickers but she has been able to get things
laid out and put together with just a little help. In fact, she was
scrapbooking away last night until 12:30!!! I finally went to bed and
told her she was on her own! :) Then, of course, she popped up at about 5:45
this morning with all kinds of energy. She can still clean for the most
part, so cleaning bathrooms, vacuuming, mopping, and dusting have become our
Monday routine. Oh, my mom! :) Gotta love her and all her energy!!
We've also started videotaping mom
the last few weeks and just having some chats with her on the video
camera. We've captured all kinds of happy and sad moments, but have had
lots of fun with this little "project".
Truthfully, over the last few weeks,
we have almost gotten lulled into a sense of false security. We have
adjusted to mom's current symptoms, but we haven't really seen much progression
of the symptoms. In essence, the last six weeks have become our new
normal...almost as if there isn't anything really wrong. In fact, in
talking with mom, other than some word problems, you wouldn't really think that
something could possibly be going on--especially a terminal illness.
Unfortunately, reality kind slammed
us in the face this past Wednesday. Mom was scheduled for her MRI, which
she's been having every three months since the initial discovery of the
tumor. Mom, Dad, and one of our doctors went in for the MRI and the
results were shocking, to say the least. The tumor had grown almost 400%
since the last MRI. Let me back up try to repaint the overall picture in
the beginning. In September 2009 when the original tumor was discovered
and removed, it was described in size by the doctor as a "hen's egg
size". We were told that at the time the surgery was conducted, it
was estimated that the tumor had most likely been growing for about 6
months. Following surgery, another MRI was conducted, but it was very
difficult to determine what was tumor/cancerous cells, what was blood from the
surgery, and what was swelling on the brain. The next MRI was December 16,
and the tumor had regrown to about the size of a golf ball. Three months
later (which was last Wednesday) brought us to this most recent MRI, where the
tumor has now grown to the approximate size of a tennis ball...pretty rapid
growth for a three month period.
There are a few things associated
with this, that we feel are certainly worth mentioning to all of you who have
shown interest in walking through this journey with us. At this point, we
are mainly working with just a couple of doctors, who have provided exceptional
care, advice, and support. Since mom isn't doing treatment, fortunately
there is not a tremendous need for daily doctor involvement other than
medication management, and of course explanation of the medical side of things
in 'normal people language', as we call it. Obviously, this could change
at any time, but we are thankful that Mom hasn't really had to be in and out of
doctors’ offices and hospitals constantly. We are extremely fortunate
that our doctors are also our friends and are willing to go above and beyond as
demonstrated on numerous occasions.
Looking at the MRI results, the
radiologist and doctors were very surprised by what they saw. They
each thought that based on the results-size, location, growth rate, and
more that Mom should have been experiencing many more symptoms than she has
been. In fact, they each seemed to think that she shouldn't really be
functioning very well. The tumor has grown so much that it has
shifted the good portion of brain off from the center line. What we are
told this means is that basically there are ventricles in the brain that should
be lined up in the center, and when they shift, they are being compressed,
which is where some of the symptoms, like the vision complication, are
originated. As the tumor grows, it will continue to cause the shift to
the right of the brain. Once the brain can't go any further to the right,
it will then begin to take its own route to move (basically, it will start
squishing, for lack of better words, wherever it can't find space, of which
will be very limited). Depending on the where things move could also
affect future symptoms.
Another issue with the tumor in
regards to growth rate is that we are now looking at exponential growth.
The bigger the tumor gets, the faster it grows. The cancerous cells
multiply at a very fast rate and the more of them there are, the quicker this
happens, so the growth from here out is expected to be very quick. In
fact, we were also told that you could take an MRI daily and visually be able to
see the growth, which indicates how quickly it will take place.
Bleeding on the brain is also an
issue of concern at this point. The radiologist was surprised that with
the size of the tumor, there was not yet bleeding on the brain. With
tumors this size, bleeding is very common. What happens is that there is
a circle of arteries in the brain, which also have what's called
"trippers" on them. As the tumor grows and shifts, and puts
pressure on certain areas, these veins and arteries are pressed to a breaking
point. Without doubt the some trippers have been hit, but they don't
produce enough blood with just a few of them to show up on an MRI or to
cause much problem. The main arteries (I think there are 6 of them,
but I could be remembering wrong) are the major concern. If one of these
arteries were to break, it would cause significant bleeding on the brain that
would likely cause an almost comatose result. Even if a comatose state
wasn't reached, it would be likely that mom would not really know people or
have much clue as to what was going on.
From our primary doctor, we were
told that it is "by the grace of God" that we have not seen more symptoms
or experienced some of these mentioned problems. When even a doctor tells
you this, you can't help but take a step back and give praise to the God of the
universe. I almost laugh a little as I type this, because God has been so
much in control of this entire situation that I can't help but feel humiliated
for the times that I have forgotten to trust Him or give Him glory.
Obviously, He has mom held so gently in His hands that He is protecting her and
holding her up in only a way that He can.
Unfortunately, the outcome based on
these medical results brought us back to a reality that we had almost forgotten
about for a few weeks. The opinion of multiple doctors is that we should
expect and prepare ourselves for some significant changes within the next
couple of weeks to month. While this is hard to hear, it is something
that we have tried the best we can as humans to prepare for. We are told
that seizures, heavy sleeping, blood clots, and swelling, are all very real
possibilities in the near future. The human brain can only withstand so
much pressure and shifting without changes in a person’s body, actions,
personalities and more.
Not that we could possibly know or
attempt to guess God's time frame for this situation, but there are many things
that have happened in the last year that we could call a coincidence, but
really it's just God handling things His way. Hilary and Corey expecting
a baby, with a due date of April 22, is just one of those things where the
timing and medical facts seem to coincide. Since September when most of
this really began, mom has continuously said that she WILL see that baby and
she will hold on for the baby. Hilary's doctors have told her that it is
unlikely that she will make it all the way to her due date. It's amazing
when a doctor can look at the situation and say what we are all thinking but
haven't verbalized to him...that possibly mom is holding on to see baby Aiden,
and then will feel at peace to let go.
Obviously, that last one is a hard
sentence to write. And, as I mentioned earlier, we are not trying to put
a time frame on things, it's just that your mind can't help but start spinning
and trying to the pieces of the puzzle together each time you're given a new
piece of information.
From the beginning as you all know,
we have prayed for God's will in this situation. We are and will continue
praying just that. We know that He does all things for His glory and are
continuing to hold on to that promise. Heaven comes up often around our
house during conversation, and I don't know of anyone who could possibly be
more excited about Heaven than my Mom. She tells us, with tears of
sadness and tears of joy streaming down her face that she can't wait to get
there. She is sad about the earthly family that she is leaving behind,
but she has such a joy about her heavenly home. We have said it over and
over, and I'll say it again....if you need some encouragement and uplifting
about anything, come spend five minutes with my mom! Enough said!
Seriously, I cannot emphasize enough how much we are enjoying our time
together. We cry everyday about something, but there is so much more
laughter than anything. Our family dynamics are such that something
ALWAYS keeps us laughing and enjoying the moments. So, that's just what
we're doing...enjoying each and every moment. It would be awfully
sad to look back over this time and not have any great memories to
relish. Mom's view, along with ours, is that we are all going
'home' sometime...this is just our temporary home until God calls us to be with
him forever in a place far better than this.
Alright, on to something of a lighter
in topic...some logistical info. As always, please let us know if you
would like to be removed from this mailing list or if you know of anyone who
would like to be added. Feel free to respond with any comments or
questions. We read each and every one of your comments to mom.
Lastly, we are still taking
orders for shirts in honor of mom. Thank you so much to each and every
one of you who have already ordered your shirts and are "Wearing Grey for
Mrs. Cindy". The shirt logo is still attached for you to
see. The shirts read "I Wear Grey for Mrs. Cindy. Support Brain
Cancer Awareness". The Grey ribbon represents brain cancer
awareness, whereas the more common pink ribbon represents breast cancer
awareness. T-shirts are $10 each and hoodies are $20. I
met with the Choctaw County Coaltion a couple of weeks ago to hash out some
details of the shirt profits (approximately $5-$6 from each shirt
sale). The shirt profits will be used to purchase children's toy
equipment for the local 'Elephant Walk Park', with a plaque indicated the
purchase was made in mom's honor. A huge shout out to William's
Sporting Goods (WSG) in Paris, TX, who has so generously provided the
shirt printing at no cost to us! THANK YOU WSG! We can ship shirts
if you are willing to pay for shipping (shipped the most economical way).
If you are interested in a shirt please email me back (h.smalling@yahoo.com) or
call us (home: 580-326-7181, cell: 801-725-0255). The shirts come in
white, black, and grey. They are a 100% cotton unisex shirt that is
pre-shrunk. On the black and white shirts, the logo will appear in
grey as you see in the attached logo. On the grey shirts, the
writing will be inverted and the logo will be black. Sizes are
Small-4XL. We can also get youth sizes on the t-shirts. The smallest is
youth small (6-8). Also available in youth sizes: medium (8-10),
large (10-12).
We also have hooded sweatshirts
available for $20. They also come in white, black, or grey. They
are a 50% cotton/ 50 % polyester fleece, unisex sweatshirt. Sizes for
both t-shirts and sweatshirts are Small, Medium, Large, XL, 2XL,
3XL, 4XL, and 5XL. You can choose to have the logo printed
in a full logo on the front or as a smaller upper left chest logo.
As always--thanks for bearing with
me as you read my short little email, errr, should I say novel! :)
If anyone wants to write these for me and make them shorter feel free.
LOL. I try to tell myself the next one will shorter each time, but
that never works out!
Come by and visit or call
anytime!! Our house is ALWAYS open!!
Much love from the Stockton Family,
Heather Smalling
on behalf of the Stockton Family
Ricky, Cindy, Heather, Holly,
Hilary, Hannah and families
Update
5 - May 2, 2010
|
Update 6 - May 19,
2010
Friends and Family,
This is just going to be a quick
update, especially for those of you who haven't heard the changes we've gone
through over the last week and half or so.
As we continue to go through the
journey of Mom's battle with cancer, we have crossed into new territory with new
changes. Starting about 10 or 11 days ago, we noticed that Mom was
beginning to get more and more tired. She started taking a couple of naps
during the day and was going to bed earlier than usual. Her word
confusion/comprehension progressed as did her vision loss.
Mom's 50th birthday was
on Saturday, May 8, and she had a wonderful time celebrating with friends and
family. The celebration lasted all day starting with a visit from her
very best friend and ending with Mexican food and desserts from some of her
friends, husband, and daughters. She partied hard! :) But, she also
seemed to be getting tired easier at this point. Even a couple of days
after this she was still able to get out and do a couple of things,
including a dinner out with family and friends, supporting other friends
through a hard time, going to church on Mother's Day, and most recently-lunch
and a pedicure with her Dad and friends.
However, things quickly changed and
the tiredness set in even more. The most significant change is the
seizures that began on this past Monday afternoon. She started with two
seizures that completely wiped her out and has had the on-set of a couple of
seizures since then, but we have been able to prevent them from moving into a
full-blown seizure with medication.
Last night was Gingerbread
graduation. She had been looking forward to it so much. She is
unable to see to do her hair or make-up, but we did it for her and had her
fixed up in some brand new clothes ready to go to graduation, when the on-set
of another seizure began. So, unfortunately, we didn't get to make
graduation. However, Mom was truly touched when all of the Gingerbread
students and parents came by for a quick visit following the graduation.
Although she was a little groggy while her visitors were here,
she remembers it well and was so blessed by it.
Over the last couple of days, new
medications have been added to the regiment, so along with the tiredness, she
is also taking medications that make her extremely tired as well, but help keep
her relaxed. She is falling asleep doing general things like talking,
eating, brushing her teeth etc. So our days our now filled with watching
her rest. During periods when she can, she tries to talk to
us...sometimes it makes sense and sometimes it doesn't. But she never has
any problems telling us that she is okay with going to Heaven and is ready when
God calls her home.
She has told us that God didn't give
her anything to hold on to after graduation. And while it's hard to hear,
we still have a peace about that. Even though she is not hurting too
much, it is still suffering for her to have to be practically bed-bound, to not
be able to see, and to not take as big of a part in daily life. So, we
know this is not what she wants and this is not how she wants to go on.
We trust firmly in the fact that God knows her heart as well and the timing of
the entire situation rest in His hands and His plans.
When she does get up, it's mainly a
shuffle around the house and she goes to the restroom and eats. There are
times though that she will just pop up and have a conversation with us as if
nothing is wrong though. She doesn't realize she is falling asleep and
isn't understanding why she can't move around by herself anymore, but God is
giving us all patience as we deal with this and I pray that he gives her
strength as we have to step in and take away some of her independence, which is
very difficult.
To those of you who have brought and
are bringing meals...there are not words adequate enough to thank you.
There is nothing at this point that could possibly be a bigger blessing...THANK
YOU SO MUCH.
To those of you who have purchased
and wear "I Wear Grey for Mrs. Cindy" shirts, we thank you. She
is so grateful for the support of this cause and we have now sold over 565
shirts....this will allow us to buy even more playground equipment for Mom's
cause!
Please continue to call and stop by
anytime...Mom still loves seeing her friends and family and I don't think that
will ever change. So, please do not ever feel as if you are
bothering...this is what she wants! :)
As you pray, continue to pray for
God's will over the situation and continued peace to set-in with everyone
involved. We are constantly reminded of just how temporary our earthly
home really is and how important it is to keep our focus on the God who knows
the plans for each and every one of us. Soon, Mom will be ushered into
the presence of God where she can meet the Jesus she so boldly serves
face-to-face. I can only imagine what that meeting will be like.
And as I try to picture it, and can only see peace and joy. Mom looks
forward to that day so much now and while we will struggle with her not being
here, we know in our hearts that there is a reason. Although the reasons
are not always clear to us, and may never be, we trust that God's plan is
without fail and He will use this bring glory to His name. Faith in this
plan is what keeps us going daily. Faith in the fact that we will see
each other again, and what a great reunion it will be!
Heather Smalling,
on behalf of the Stockton Family-
Ricky, Cindy, Heather, Holly,
Hilary, Hannah and families
Update 7 - June 7,
2010
Hello again to all of our friends
and family,
We wanted to send you all another update just so that you will be informed, since you have all been a part of Mom's journey thus far through her battle with cancer. This email, I'm sure, is going to be my hardest to write since I started, and probably hard to read, so for that and for the difficulty of the information, it will be much shorter than usual. But, at least you will be informed.
We wanted to send you all another update just so that you will be informed, since you have all been a part of Mom's journey thus far through her battle with cancer. This email, I'm sure, is going to be my hardest to write since I started, and probably hard to read, so for that and for the difficulty of the information, it will be much shorter than usual. But, at least you will be informed.
The past couple of weeks have
continued to be filled with seizures and tremors. Mom does seem to be
pain free except for a pain in her head just during the tremors, kind of like
it is pulsating. The tremors have generally started in her foot and leg
and worked their way up her body into her arms and face. Now, they seem
to be only in the face, primarily in the lips is where we see the
effects. Her look is very distant...her eyes and mouth have changed and
have an ashy color to them. Other than that, she is resting very
comfortably.
Mom is now in a hospital bed at her
house. We moved the couch she was staying on and put the bed in it's
place to keep as much of a routine for her as possible. However, she is
completely incoherent at this point. She is in a coma-like state,
sleeping nearly 24 hours a day. At this point, even if you move her, she
doesn't wake up. She has lost all muscle control in her body, she cannot
talk or walk anymore, and is unable to really eat or drink. She is now
completely confined to the bed.
Her breathing has become very
abnormal, ranging anywhere from 20-29 seconds between breaths. As hard as
it may be for people to read or understand this, we hope that every breath is
her last breath. She is so ready to be with our Heavenly Father and would
not want to be like this any longer. We talked on many occasions about
her new "bikini body" she is going to get in heaven...a restored body
with no swelling, no headaches, no seizures, no tremors, no suffering, and no
tumors.
She is so much at peace with the
idea of Heaven. Our family also has an unexplainable peace (doesn't mean
there isn't hurt, sadness, pain, and suffering, but we are trusting God through
this) as well. When mom was still able to talk, she would tell everyone
that there was a reason for this all and even if that reason was not revealed
to her, she would be okay with it, because she trusted in God's plan and His reasons.
Our hope in sharing mom's journey
with you is that there would inspiration, faith renewal, and that Mom's
testimony would truly be used as a vessel to bring God glory. We know
that God holds each of us in His hands and we know that our eternity is secure
and we will reunite one day on streets of gold!
We have now sold nearly 700 "I
Wear Grey for Mrs. Cindy" shirts--AMAZING! Thank you to everyone who
has helped support this effort to raise awareness and raise money for
playground equipment for the Elephant Walk in Mom's honor. We would like
to invite you all to join our family and wear your shirts if you have them, to
Mom's service once she goes to see Jesus...what a way to honor her! If
you don't have a shirt, Mom's second request was that you wear bright cheerful
colors that would celebrate her life as opposed to her death. She wants
everything very casual.
Lastly, a HUGE thank you to
everyone who has brought and continues to bring meals...truly an amazing
blessing. You will never know what a difference this has made.
Thank you a hundred times!
Heather Smalling,
on behalf of the Stockton Family,
Ricky, Cindy, Heather, Holly,
Hilary, Hannah and Families
Update 8 - June 8,
2010
|
For those of you who may not have
heard, we wanted to let you know that Mom entered the presence of heaven
today. I can only imagine what it was like when she met Jesus
face-to-face. Although it is difficult, there is a great comfort in
knowing that Mom's eternity is forever sealed. It is a joy to know that
all of our family and anyone else that knows Jesus as their personal Savior
will once again reunite with her.
Mom's life truly was a legacy of
faith and love. She will be missed greatly, but somehow we will find
the strength to move forward.
The services will be on Saturday
at 10:00 am at First Baptist Church in Hugo, OK. The family
night/visitation will be on Friday night from 6-8 at First Baptist Church in
Hugo, OK. In lieu of flowers, donations will be accepted at First
United Bank in Hugo, OK for the "I Wear Grey for Mrs. Cindy"
fund. All funds will be used to purchase playground equipment for the
Elephant Walk as a memorial.
Please feel free to join us in
wearing your "I Wear Grey for Mrs. Cindy" shirts to her
service. Jeans are completely acceptable as Mom's request was that it
be a very informal service.
Thank you all so much for the
love, support, prayers, encouragement, meals, visits, cards, phone calls, and
so much more over the past eight months. Our family cannot express with
words the difference that it has made!
Sincerely,
Heather Smalling and the Stockton Family |
Speech written and
read by our family at Mom’s funeral service
We
stand here completely amazed and overwhelmed at the number of you who are here
today and the number of “I Wear Grey for Mrs. Cindy” shirts that we see before
us. Until the last few months, I don’t
think any one of our family truly realized the impact that our Mom has had on
so many people. A simple example of this
is the “I Wear Grey” campaign. When we
originally decided to start ordering shirts to sell to raise money for
playground equipment at the Elephant Walk, we decided to order about 30. We thought in our minds, that if we sold 50
shirts, we would be doing good…little did we know or dream that just a few
months later we would have sold over 725 shirts in our mom’s honor.
This
is only one of millions of stories that speaks wonders about our Mom’s life and
her impact on others. The outpouring of
love and support that we have received over the past few months has literally
blown us away. We have not been in need
of anything that hasn’t been provided…meals, errands, doctors and medicine,
prayers, emotional support, caregiving relief and so much more. We would be here for days if we tried to
thank everyone who deserves it. The list
goes on and on…just know that each of you have blessed our family in a
tremendous way.
Now…back
to the reason you’re here…”Mrs. Cindy”.
When we try to think of the most appropriate words to describe Mom’s
character and her life, the word that stands far above the rest is
faith…unwavering faith. Everything that
she did revolved around her faith. Her
faith in God was reflected in her every move…her devotion, friendship,
selflessness, and her heart. She loved
her family more than anything. Our
family was recently described as “abnormally close”, and while we laugh at
this, we take great pride in knowing that there is an amazing bond that binds
our family together. Our Mom and Dad
raised each of us in the way of the Lord.
Their every move left us with nothing to do, but have faith. They raised a 6-member family on an income
that I don’t think one person would be able to survive on. But they did it
without complaint as they sacrificed to make sure that we knew the importance
of love and devotion.
You
can’t hardly start to talk about Mom without talking about Dad. They truly were one. A quick story about Mom
and Dad—when mom had her surgery back in September and was in ICU, we had come
in the first morning, and the first thing the nurse said to us was, “I don’t
know who Ricky is, but she really loves him”.
He said that all night long she was saying “I love Ricky, Ricky is hot,
I have a hot husband”. So since then,
Ricky then became “hot Ricky” around our house!
This coming Wednesday would mark Mom and Dad’s 32nd
anniversary. They had such a great
marriage and were a constant and consistent example for us of the way that God
designed a marriage to be. Never in our
life was there ever a fight, a hateful word, or anything that would leave room
for regret. They exemplified Christ’s
love daily and instilled in us values have shaped our lives and our families
lives.
Our
Mom had the biggest heart in the world.
She never met a stranger. She
took people in who needed home, she fed families who needed meals, she gave
money to people in need, she gave of herself constantly, without expecting
anything in return. She always had words
of wisdom and encouragement. Every
morning that we lived at home and left for school, her last words to us were
always “Smile, it will make your day go better.
I love you”. We never wondered if
we were loved. The words “I love you”
were spoken all of the time at our house.
Whether it was a phone call, bedtime, because someone was coming or
going, or just because, “I love you” were always the words used. She was so involved in our lives and
supported us through every single thing.
Mom
could walk in a room and everyone was drawn to her. People were always amazed by her…the advice
she gave, the way she kept her house, her inability to procrastinate, her
frugalness, her crafting skills (primarily quilting and scrapbooking), her
cooking skills, her patient way with children, her organizational skills, and
the list goes on. There pretty much
wasn’t anything she couldn’t (and didn’t) do.
We called her superwoman, which didn’t even seem to do justice.
Children
were mom’s main passion. God created a
special place in her heart for children.
Her gift of patience and childhood education were evident when she
started homeschooling us when we were three years old. That gift later moved into Gingerbread
pre-school, which Mom owned and taught for the last 17 years. So many children had part of their foundation
shaped by Mrs. Cindy’s teaching skills.
We are continuing to hear story after story from parent’s who say that
their children say Mrs. Cindy was their favorite teacher ever. They have also said that she helped them
understand to work with their children in areas of education and upbringing and
has left a lasting impact on them and their future.
As
Mom’s cancer progressed over the last few months, her faith and reliance on God
grew even stronger. She was able to give
her testimony at many local churches and bring people in on her journey through
some of her updates. Although we are now
sad at the earthly circumstances, we rejoice in the fact that she is now in the
presence of the King of Kings. Mom was
ready to go…she was ready to meet Jesus face-to-face. She wasn’t scared, she wasn’t fearful, she
didn’t wonder about the unknown. She was
excited about Heaven and was ready to start eternity. We are comforted so much by the fact that she
was so ready. We know we will see her
again one day and until then, we rest in the fact that she is in the hands of a
loving God.
August 2, 2011
Family and Friends,
It’s been a while since you got any type of
update. Time has flown by so fast. The last 14 months have been
challenging for our family, but we are all doing well. We are so blessed
that we all had such a close relationship with God and with each other to help
pull us through. There is still a lot of healing, but every day we are
getting better. Not a day goes by that any one of us doesn’t think of Mom
and her amazing legacy she left behind. But the pain does get a little
easier over time. The sadness doesn’t go away, but we are learning how to
deal with it and how to continually turn it in to good. Our family has an
enormous amount of great memories to cherish and look back upon. We
cannot thank each and every one of you enough for all you have done for us as a
family. But most importantly, your prayers of support, strength, and
encouragement have helped us more than words can say.
Because each of you was involved in some way or
another through Mom’s journey, we feel it is an honor to keep you
updated. The majority of those reading this email gave some type of
financial support over the last couple years, primarily through the sale of the
“I Wear Grey for Mrs. Cindy” campaign shirts. Many of you gave of your
financial resources to the “I Wear Grey for Mrs. Cindy” fund at First United
Bank in Hugo. The financial response you gave was overwhelming and
humbling. I am so thrilled to let you all know that we raised a combined
total of nearly $8,000 to put towards the purchase of playground equipment in
Mom’s honor.
What is even more special and rewarding about this is
that Mom got to be involving in selecting this memorial while she was still
here with us in person. To know how touched she was by your generosity
makes it so worthwhile. And to know that we are getting to fulfill her
dream is an incredible feeling. With the help and sponsorship of the Choctaw County Coalition, I am happy to announce that
the playground equipment has been purchased.
We were able to purchase a piece of equipment that
totaled around $10,000. It is set to arrive in approximately 5-6 weeks
and will be placed at the Elephant Walk Park in Hugo, OK. Volunteers are
needed to help with installation and set-up. We will have a company
representative on sight to oversee the installation, but volunteers will
actually be doing the work. Dad will be heavily involved in this
process. If you are interested in helping with this, please let me
know.
In October there will be an official ribbon cutting
ceremony for the memorial. Details with the date and time will follow
soon and we will have a press release put in the local paper as well.
To help raise the additional money needed for the
equipment, the Choctaw County Coalition will be sponsoring a Baked Potato
fundraiser on August 16, 2011. Attached to
this email is a flyer with the details of this event. If you live in the
local area and would like to place an order for a baked potato lunch, please
call the numbers on the flyer or email me. Also, if you can help us get
the word out locally, that would be fabulous. Feel free to print, post,
and distribute the attached flyer around Hugo and the surrounding area.
We hope you all know how much of an important role you
played in making this happen. Whether your support was financial or not,
we know you all supported us, Mom, and this effort. For that we thank
you. I will certainly send pictures of the equipment once it is installed
so you can see what you were and are a part of! Thank you again so much
for the love and support!
Heather Smalling
On behalf of the Stockton,
Smalling, Anthony, Pound, and Mize family and extended family.
October 4,
2010
Wow…there is no way possible for me to thank everyone enough
for everything. I am so excited to tell
you that the playground equipment in Mom’s honor is here and installed at the
Elephant Walk. Dad is there put a few
finishing touches on it as I write this.
There are a couple small things to be done, but as for now, it is
completed. Here it is a few days ago (it
has come even further along since then).
We did not end up having a work day because of how much work
Dad and a few others did in a matter of days.
The playground is officially called the “Cindy Stockton Memorial Playground”. It is a $10,600 piece of equipment. When we started raising money, we thought we
would be thrilled if we sold 30 shirts, but hundreds and hundreds of shirts and
other donations later, here we are.
It is such a joy to see Mom’s dream come to fruition and to
have you all as a part of it. We want to
invite everyone to a ribbon cutting/dedication ceremony on MONDAY, OCTOBER 10TH AT 4:00 PM at the Elephant
Walk in Hugo, Oklahoma. It will be very
short and light refreshments will be provided.
We would like to thank the many businesses who stepped up
and helped us with things needed to complete the playground. Because of the generosity of these sponsors,
we saved well over $2,000 in materials needed for installation.
Choctaw County
Coalition
City of Hugo
Catulla-Scott Ranch
Brent Shain &
Family
City Drug
Choctaw Electric
Rustin Concrete
Covington Trucking
Martin-Marietta
Materials
Francis & Sons
Drilling
Again, thank you for the financial and prayerful support
provided to turn this dream into reality.
We hope that children and families can enjoy it for many years to
come. If you have any questions or need
more information on the dedication, please feel free to email or call
(801-725-0255 or 580-326-7181).
Sincerely,
Heather Smalling on behalf of the Stockton Family.
October 10, 2011 –
Cindy Stockton Memorial Playground Ribbon Cutting/Dedication Ceremony Speech
On behalf of Cindy Stockton and our family, we are happy and
thankful to welcome you all here today.
We are so humbled to be standing here.
It is because of the abundant generosity of each of you and so many
other along with community and local business support that this was made
possible.
Cindy Stockton lived her life with great faith. Her faith was unwavering even until the moment
our Savior called her home.
She was admired in this town and community and among friends
and family. Cindy was an amazing wife,
mom, grandmother, daughter, friend, and so much more. Because of the impact she had on so many
lives, both before and throughout her battle with brain cancer, the response we
have received for this cause has been more than we could have ever expected.
More than anything we wished Mom was still here with
us. But we know that God works all
things together for His glory and we are thankful to have made this dream of a
playground a reality.
When Mom was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer in
September of 2009 we had no idea what the future would hold, but we could not
have imagined this. When she lost her
battle with cancer in June 2010 we still never imagined we would have something
so wonderful to memorialize the legacy of such and incredible woman.
When the “I Wear Grey for Mrs. Cindy” campaign began, our
family thought it would be a great feat to sell 2 orders of shirts, which would
have been 60 shirts. At that point, we
figured we would just make a very small donation somewhere in Cindy’s
honor. Then as more and more shirts were
sold, the vision began to unfold and mom decided that she would love to be
honored by putting a bench or very small piece of equipment at a park where
kids could use it.
The shirt sales continued and eventually reach nearly 900
sold. We also partnered with the Choctaw
County Coalition to put the equipment here at the Elephant Walk. When Mom passed away so many of you made
financial contributions to this effort.
Many of you also supported the recent baked potato
fundraiser for this cause.
All in all, your contributions raised over $10,600 which
purchased the playground equipment you see here today.
Once the equipment arrived, our Dad and many other
tirelessly put in so many hours to install it.
They diligently worked to complete it and because of the work, support,
and donations of the following businesses, the equipment was completed:
Choctaw County Coalition
City of Hugo
Choctaw Electric
Martin-Marietta Materials
Frances & Sons Drilling
City Drug & City Medical
Catula-Scott Ranch
Brent & Mary Shain & Family
Covington Trucking
Rustin Concrete
Victory Life of Hugo
It is with great joy, humbleness, and thankfulness that we
present to you the Cindy Stockton Memorial Playground, dedicated October 10,
2011. Dad, please unveil the rock.
Mrs. Cindy’s grandchildren, Jordyn & Avery Anthony and
Aiden Pound will momentarily cut the ribbon finalizing this dedication.
We know Cindy is smiling down from Heaven today, and on her
behalf we are honored you joined us. Our
hope is that the playground is enjoyed by children for years to come and that
her legacy continues through it.
Please feel free to join us following the ribbon cutting for
an open house with cookies and drinks.
Thank you!
Please cut the ribbon.
2 comments:
Heather, I found your blog through Tabby Gilbreath. I originally came hunting you down to learn how to "paint". LOL! I have sat here all morning reading the post "I Wear Grey for My Mom" What an honor it is to learn more about your family! I wish I could have known your mom personally but through your writing I feel like I do know her. :) I just wanted to simply say that I believe you are an amazing person with an amazing family and your faith in God is astounding! God is so good! He is Faithful and Ever-Loving! Thank you so much for your time. God bless you!
Tasha Cantrell
i clicked on your blog for a furniture project, and now i've just read this entire post, and am crying my eyes out. i have not had to experience anything like this, yet I'm so appreciative for your faith and perspective. i love to hear how people trust in the Lord in such trying times. thank you!
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